Second Child Syndrome

It's good to know, for various reasons, that we're not the only people we know who are having a second child. In fact there's a small group of us who have decided that we're not that tired or financially ruined and that the best thing for all of us to do is have another child. We are the mad sensible ones.

Though for some strange reason we and about four other couples are going to be having our second child roughly at the same time of year as our first was born. Is there any science that says this generally happens or does it just look like we have sex once a year and more often than not it results in a child?

The really funny thing is that most of couples we know who have decided to take the plunge, including us, all roll our eyes and say it's going to be hell for a few years. So why do it and why hasn't common sense stopped us?

Well for one, I'm still fairly young so my logic is we can get all the tedious sleep deprivation out of the way early and by the time the children are at an age where they can make their own breakfasts, I will still be able to appreciate a lie in as a relatively young person. This may not make any sense to you but makes perfect sense to me. And why not get it out of the way early in life as when they go to university I can go travelling and I won't need a walking stick to get around.

Some people have called us mad and crazy for going back to the start especially with a toddler as mental as the wee man but chosen the path we have. There's no getting out of it now...


jpr

Part Child, Part Goat, Part Nokia Phone

Crash, bang, wallap. The wee man is not one for risk assessment. I don't know any other child who is as haphazard with their safety as he is. If it didn't look so ridiculous I would probably have him running around dressed in bubble wrap. Because he is so unfazed by life he doesn't stop, literally, at the water's edge. This kamikaze lifestyle has The Chancellor and I on tenterhooks constantly. There seems to be nowhere where we can relax with him.

Today he had an almighty crash in the park where his head met concrete at a pretty alarming velocity. You know with him when something really hurts because he scrunches his eyes up, holds his breath, opens his mouth for five seconds then lets out a ungodly cry. The breath holding bit is quite useful as it gives you time to cover your ears in preparation. In truth we were expecting blood today as we picked him up off the floor. Luckily for all concerned he was fine after a few minutes of crying.

But it makes you think, how the hell don't these children hurt themselves more? I know the bone structure of toddlers is slightly different to that of an adult and the bones bend more than ours do but still. They're almost indestructible like those old Nokia phones that no mater how or where you dropped them they would still be fine. Though I'm not going to be going around dropping him here, there and all about to test this theory, Social Services would have something to say about that.

When the wee man is scaling something that is far too high for him, I often think of those mountain goats that stand, for some bizarre reason, on the edges of cliffs. Why on earth they do that is anyone's guess. The wee man is the same, he just climbs to the point where he can't climb anymore and sod getting down. It's nice to know though that he's more goat than child.

jpr

      

The Wee Man The Mardy Bum

We've had nothing but trouble from the wee man today. Since we've returned home all he's done is winge. And I mean really winge. There is a certain noise he makes that is just awful and really really annoying. All day all we've heard is this noise followed by crying followed by the noise followed by crying...It really makes mine and The Chancellor's blood pressure rise to dangerous levels. Everything has become hard work but the thing that has pissed us off the most is when he gets frustrated he gets naughty. He's been deliberately doing things that he knows are wrong after he's been told off. It's all a vicious cycle and we're about ready to sell him to any bidder not even the highest.

I think we've had a culmination of maybe the last tooth coming through, a developmental change and the back end of a really unsettled stage. I hope after a night's sleep he will return to his old ways, if not we're taking him with a megaphone to the local car boot tomorrow. The Chancellor joked today that someone would take him but come back half an hour later after having second thoughts. I've had second thoughts one or twice but unfortunately I'm biologically tied to him so I can't go anywhere.

It's been a while since we've had such a rubbish day and even at half past four in the afternoon I'm looking at the clock to see if it's bath time yet. Next week The Chancellor goes back to work and the wee man and I go back to spending our days together, if he's still in this mood then it's going to be awful. Let's hope the amalgamation of things has stopped by then or else...

If you're wondering by the way the word mardy is a yorkshireism which means grumpy or surly and it pretty much sums up the wee man today. Even after dinner which is usually his best time of the day he is crying because I'm not letting him do something or other. I'm such an awful dad, apparently.

I need to have a lie down...


jpr
 

Back For Good

Just over a month ago we set off for our holiday to Devon, today we finally got home for good. We will finally be able to unpack our stuff and get back to a type of normality. The Chancellor isn't back at work until next week, so we might be able to get back to some of those jobs that still need to be done. After all that has been going on we still need to move house and we may get back to some painting but we are no longer in as much of a rush as there are still jobs to do back down in Leeds. Until they're done we're probably not going anywhere.

Child #2 is growing nicely and there is even a little bump now. Though The Chancellor can't tell if it's the meal we ate last night. Taking advantage of being around family The Chancellor and I had a date night last night, the first in...well a while. This consisted of a meal out, at a restaurant we used to visit regularly when we just 'going out', followed by drinks in a bar. Seeing as The Chancellor is pregnant I was doing all the drinking but I think this was the case before we got pregnant again. Naturally being parents the night finished somewhere before ten but still we enjoyed ourselves and we know that after #2 is born we won't be doing this...ever again.

It's amazing how quickly you can slip back into a former life when you are away from your children. We found this last year when we went away for a couple of nights. You quickly stop looking for the high chair at dinner time or wondering where and what your child is doing. You can actually sit in a chair and close your eyes without having a child screech at you or poke you in the eye.

I know some people don't like being away from their children but I think that it's a really important thing to do. They need to get used to you being away and we, as parents, need a break from the insanity. We are lining up a nights break later this year and I already can't wait. A nice hotel, a great dinner, some nice wine and a lie in in the morning, who's with me?

jpr

How To Get A Piece Of Key Lime Pie

Good afternoon. First for you today is a smattering of Baby Centre. If you haven't noticed it's pretty warm outside and I for one am sick of it all. This week's blog I moan a lot about it all http://www.baby.co.uk/mum_stories/does-your-child-cope-well-in-the-heat/. I have also written another blog this week but I'm not willing to share the link as it's about Prince William and some royal baby. For those of you who know me personally you will know that I only write these things because my editor asks me to and not because I like the royals. I am a true Roundhead. Anyway if you nosey around the site my blog will be somewhere as will a million posts about Kate and Wills but I'm not going to give you any clues to where it is.

And so onto a child I actually care about and the wee man has now become a master when it comes to manipulation. He has learnt that if he doesn't get what he wants from one of us then he will go to other and will generally get it.

Today he came to me wanting a bit of my chocolate chip muffin, I said no and he promptly went to The Chancellor with a sad face and pointing at me (I'm the big bad wolf) and he got some key lime pie. His face changed quite quickly once he got the tasty spoonful. The Chancellor can never say no to him. It's one thing when you're divided about desserts but what happens when he wants booze or a packet of fags? Where does it end?

I'm pretty sure all children have their parents wrapped around their fingers, I've seen some real treats out and about. Some parents just cave at the first sight of a tantrum. The wee man doesn't even need to do this as The Chancellor wilts at his little sad face. We all need to toughen up a dash...

jpr  

The Death Of Sharing

Eureka! Some time ago I wrote a Baby Centre blog about the joys of science museums. Today we went to one. Eureka! in Halifax is a wonderful places with something for all the family. Great food, great toilets, great... If I sound like a sales assistant then it's because they may give me free passes for mentioning them. I'll be holding my breath for them to arrive in the post.

The place is great, however as you would imagine it was full of other people's children. Now for a while I've been worried about sharing. But having seen the children of all ages today I now know that no child shares. NO child.

An example was a device where you could put a ball through a hole and the machine pushed it around and about and eventually came out a shoot at the end. The idea was that you put your ball in and watch it through the perspex and wait for it to come out. Now, there were some horrid children who stole the balls from smaller children and didn't wait their turn and pushed everyone else out of the way. My faith in children being nice and sharing is now dead. The parents didn't help much as little children the wee man's age were trampled and elbowed out of the way. Poor buggers. I had to mussel my way in just to let the wee man have a go. Also I wanted a go (I too can not share).

If it didn't come with a lifetime ban from the place and possibly a prison sentence I would have thrown these kids out to learn how to behave. Do you think I could get refund because of annoying kids?


jpr

  

A Fitting Send Off

Hard day for us at HQ today with my mother-in-law's funeral. In the end it was a great send off but inevitably it wasn't at all easy for any of us. The wee man is at that awkward age where he still isn't sitting still and wants to explore everything so a funeral isn't the best place for him to be. My mother was on hand to whisk him away in the church when he got too chatty or overexcited with proceedings.

It's very hard to have a toddler who doesn't understand what's going on. I was a pallbearer today and the wee man got very upset as we carried the coffin up the aisle. He obviously wanted to say hi to me as I passed him but being in the middle of carrying a coffin I couldn't stop and carry him. With time naturally he will learn about these situations and will be less likely to be clingy with us. But with today we didn't want to have to keep him occupied as well as deal with everything else. My sister was also kindly on duty to keep him occupied, this at least means we could focus on what was going on.

We will now stay here until the middle of the week and we'll head home and try to return to a sort of normality, this of course will take longer than we hope it will. For the wee man though life has to continue and nothing stops for him. This can make dealing with grief tricky as you HAVE to carry on and you can't sit still and think about things, especially with the wee man as he NEVER sits still. It will be easier in the future when it happens again as he'll be older, although I hope it doesn't happen again for a long long time.


jpr