Be Careful What You Tell Your Children

The Chancellor told me a story the other day that has stayed with me since. It regards one of her colleagues and her two children who are older than the wee man somewhere around four and six. When the children are being naughty or being told to do something by their Mother their Father, in a show of unity, tells them they have to do as their Mother tells them. This seems like a fair comment which is pretty straight forward and probably one that I will tell the wee man in the future. However the children are not stupid, far from it. When their Father won't do something, take them out somewhere for example, the children will call their Grandmother. They ask her, in a their nicest and sweetest childish voice, to tell their Father to take them because if she does tell him he will have to do it. This is because he made the mistake of telling his children 'Do as your Mother says'. Poor guy. Poor poor guy. He really is. I bet he didn't see that coming. Hoist by his own petard. His children have just outflanked him with a fantastic strategy which is very very clever. I bet they glance at each other with a devilish look, pitchforks hidden just out of sight. Where do you go from there? Can you claw it back after being so amazingly out thought?

With this in mind it is becoming increasingly obvious to me that the wee man will be smarter than me and probably The Chancellor. This scares me slightly. I know we are still a few years away from these kind of antics but I feel I have to act now to deal with this type of precocious talent. Maybe try and increase my IQ by a few points. But even being nearly one year old he has his own little tactics of either getting what he wants or getting out of the things he doesn't want to do. He has quickly realised the affect he has on his and our world. I'm a soft touch for wanting a quiet life and The Chancellor is a soft touch because she just wants to cuddle and kiss him. I don't think we stand a chance in the future, there is no spine in our team, no defensive midfielder!

What does make me slightly happier is that all the babies I know laugh at their parents when they are told 'NO' when doing something wrong. The wee man isn't the only child with a pitchfork hidden behind his back...


jpr