Tuesday, 23 October 2012

I am Very Sick, Please Send Money

Here at HQ we are all feeling very sorry for ourselves. No one more so than me. I am rattling around the house groaning like some Dickensian ghost and the wee man is crawling around whinging like a Dickensian chimney sweep. Bet the Chancellor is happy to be at work today. If you want to know I have something like man flu only a billion times worse and there has been throwing up involved. Awful.

If any of you want to help donations are being taken at the NSPMP (Nation Service for the Protection of Miserable Parents), I am the only member of this particular group so large donations would be greatly appreciated. Please, help a miserable parent today, you might just save a life or at the very least some sanity. I don't accept cheques by the way only cold hard cash, or instant bank transfers. Thank you, your support is greatly appreciated. Also I am the wee man's trustee so any gifts of money sent to him will find its way into my bank account where it will be mysteriously spent on bright and shiny things. Again thank you.

I tried to rest my head and my eyes this morning but everywhere I tried to relax I had a small hand poking me in the face or a thumb up my nose. There is no way I'm going to be able rest properly or truly feel sorry for myself until The Chancellor returns home. I mean I feel sorry for myself now but there has to be someone here to hear it for it to be a real moan. I am counting down the hours and minutes.

So as I go off into the Tyneside fog to take some anti flu medicine that won't work please give generously to the NSPMP because I shouldn't have to suffer by myself. I will also accept gifts of food if anyone is in the area. Thank you and I hope I am still here tomorrow to moan at you some more.


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