Sunday, 17 February 2013


In my time writing One Man I don't think the subject of teeth has been given a prominent enough place. They are perhaps the greatest source of discomfort for the wee man and affects everything from sleeping to eating via everything else. The wee man in actual fact hasn't had any new teeth for quite a few months, making our life a little easier. This is because, apparently, children stop getting teeth when they start walking. Something to do with their bodies using the calcium for their bones rather than teeth. Once their bones have become strong enough for walking they start getting teeth again. Bet you didn't know that.

Right on cue though teeth are now appearing all over the wee man's gums causing him all sorts of bother and making him drool over everything in the house, leaving the our place looking like something from the film Alien. At least I suppose he doesn't have acid for blood.

The teething gels are now back out of their boxes and being used beyond their maximum. But it makes you think why as a race we haven't evolved to a point where we are born with a full set of teeth. Do we really need all this tedious mucking around and pain? The wee man isn't even near a full assortment of them yet and we have a long way to go before he isn't chewing everything he can get is hands on. I do have sympathy for him as it can't be nice having your gums burn and ache and there being nothing you can do about it. Maybe this is why you don't remember anything until you are closer to three or four. Who wants to remember feeling like crap for quite a few months.

Soldier on we must and I can always use my own kind of numbing agent to get through the crying. When he was much younger I was tempted to use a finger of whisky on his gums because I thought the teething gel was doing nothing for him. I'm sure a fine single malt was what my parents used on me and it did me no harm apart from now I own a good collection of single malt whiskys. Maybe I'll just stick with the teething gel.



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