Monday, 11 February 2013

The Wee Man's Top 5

After I read High Fidelity, when I was much younger, I got really excited by top 5s. Everywhere I went I would write down lists of top 5s, from my favorite books through to my favorite LP records. They were for no one else to see, just for my own amusement. So in a nod to back street record stores and Nick Hornby here the wee man's top 5 favorite things to do.

1). Turn the TV on. After watching The Chancellor and I do this for a while, he quickly worked out what the big button on the TV was for. Now it's the first thing he does when he comes into the living room. He will go over and turn it on and then turn it off or he will turn it on and walk out of the room (he's like a teenager already). Or more annoyingly he will turn turn the TV off at a critical moment of a programme I'm watching. I inevitably start shouting at him to turn it back on but he just walks off.

2). Today he worked out how to turn the lamp in his bedroom on and off. Now he will stand in his room, with a big grin of his face, for five to ten minutes amusing himself as the light comes on and off. A seminal moment perhaps like he's just discovered fire.

3). Try to get into the toilet. One thing I haven't done yet is put a lock on the toilet. There just aren't enough hours in the day. The wee man is still fascinated by the toilet and he gets VERY excited when he manages to get into the bathroom and before I can get there in time he is already lifting up the seat and trying to get in. This results in him needing a full decontamination which he does not like.

4). Eating the bottoms of shoes. It doesn't matter which shoe or how dirty the shoe is, they get eaten. Again decontamination is necessary and again I get an ear full from him.

5). Hiding. This generally happens when I ask him to come to me for a nappy change etc. I ask him to come to daddy and gesture to him to come to me. He will shuffle backwards, grinning all the time, and crouch down behind something, his favorites are chairs and the hi-fi speaker in our living room. I ask again and just hear a giggle. Eventually after what seems half and hour and with me now very bored I have to retrieve him which he finds very funny. I think he has me wrapped around his little finger.



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