Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Always Read The Small Print

Somewhere I think in my marriage vows it must say 'As a husband you are obliged to go anywhere your wife asks, even if it so mindlessly boring that you will use 70% of your battery life on your mobile phone in half an hour'. That's the small print. Written in such minute lettering that you need at least two magnifine glasses to see it.

The Chancellor used this small print to drag me shopping with her and my Mum today. The wee man got out of most of it by sleeping for a good hour and a half, tucked up in his new cosey toes thing for his pushchair. He saw it coming and had the right idea. I had alerted him of what was to come during a conversation this morning. Despite him not being able to say anything apart from 'eggs' (this is a new thing) there was a cosmic male bonding moment where he said "Yep Dad I totally get you, I'll just sleep through the worst of it and see where we are when I wake up".

I was not so lucky and as we strolled through a freezing city centre I contemplated climbing into the buggy to join him. Logistically tricky but worth a shot nonetheless. I managed to break free the shackles of oppression and run off for 10 mins but was quickly reeled back in and I returned to following the oligarchs two steps behind. Democracy had deserted me in my hour of need.

In a moment of civil unrest though I put my foot down and said I was going to Starbucks and no one could stop me. Power to the people and capitalism. Then, a God somewhere smiled on me and said "Jamie I understand your hardship, here, I give you a German sausage stall at the German Christmas Market!"Ace! So in a matter of seconds I destroyed a foot long sausage and bun with such glee it made the previous hour worth it. The silver lining was joyous as was the mustard and ketchup additions. So the moral here is don't despair the Germans will be there to help you!  


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