'We have a son with a black eye and odd socks and we're covered in piss! We shouldn't be allowed to go to these things, we're not like the other parents!'
This was the cry from The Chancellor as we drove off to a first birthday party, naturally late for proceedings What she spoke was the truth we did all look like a right state. The wee man had been awoken early from his nap which like yesterday he wasn't happy about. And in his anger he unleashed, while in the middle of a nappy change, piss all over himself, me and The Chancellor. In hindsight I don't really blame him. I'm always annoyed when something wakes me up.
I had hoped to find, at the party, a chair in a quiet room to hide away in but on arrival I quickly realised that this wouldn't happen. Children everywhere. And not just babies but big children all making loads of noise and one even started circling me with a toy train. This made me very uncomfortable and I tried discreetly to shoo him away. Every room we entered there were tears, then shouts then more tears. The wee man to be fair managed pretty well, he just took it all in his stride until he conked out on his mum. I felt like doing the same.
All tired out we left managing to stash a hearty amount of cake with us which I am now eating quite happily as the wee man naps and The Chancellor reads her magazine. How civilised. And on top of this we have a babysitter (Irish Mummy) booked for tonight and I am taking The Chancellor out for a romantic meal which she is paying for! I only found out about this last night. Don't ask, long story, crossed wires. I might raid my penny collection and pay for the tip. Would they frown on getting a tip with pennies? Only one way to find out.