Always Remember To Use The Brake

After yesterday's detour to 'Fuel Jamie's Bid For World Domination Town' One Man is returning to normal duty today. Thank you for you patience.

With the house now builder free we can go back to our routine of acting like idiots without the fear of someone seeing us and judging us. This the good news from the past twenty four hours the bad news is the wee man and I have done our bit to ruin Britain's beaches.

Yesterday while taking a wonder along the beach, with Funny Daddy, we battled against hurricane force winds. I tried valiantly to keep child and all child related paraphernalia in the buggy but you only have so many hands. The buggy tried to escape on more than one occasion and I really should have learnt my lesson from this but continued to forget to use the brake. As a gust of wind took the rain cover with it I decided to run after it but as I let go of the pushchair it shot off at some great speed, from another gust, across the grass heading towards the sea wall. Child or rain cover which should I save?

With me spending my time shopping online this tells you all you need to know. The rain cover was last seen sprinting off into the North Sea and even though I care loosely about the environment I'm not going to go diving into the North Sea in January. Shopping for a rain cover though is much cheaper and much less fuss than shopping for a new child. So well done me for choosing the right option.

My self adulation at my parenting kills was short lived. While roughhousing on our return home the wee man ran into me as I was on the floor, smashing his face on my skull. This resulted in a whopper of a black eye which today has turned a very nice shade of blue. He now looks a mixture of tired, undernourished and battle scarred. This isn't a great mixture and if The Chancellor has her way the make-up will be out tonight.


jpr